touched by an angel

Hi friends,

It’s been so long, I started not to even post. Would you believe that so many things have changed and yet I’m still very much the same? Isn’t that how it goes. Nowadays it seems like everyone blogging is doing it professionally, or at least attempting and talking it up as if they have it on lockdown. It’s all about stats and likes and yada yada. But it’s not really cute to sound negative about it, especially when I sometimes wish it were me. I think the thing we forget is with that kind of platform comes a lot of work + negative things to be dealt with that we just don’t realize when we’re gazing at the other side of the green.

So here I am, not curating or selling or marketing anything other than too many run on grammatically incorrect hodgepodge sentences. A few minutes ago, I pulled out my green notebook with my list of top secret passwords for accounts I don’t often use and I still had to reset this password. Now wordpress is telling me I need all sorts of upgrades and formats. It’ll be a miracle if this publishes without my credit card number.

I digress.

I read this blog once, the title was Eat the Damn Cake and I loved her sarcasm and honesty. And then one day she quit blogging. Maybe she’s taken it back up again, I have no idea, but at the time it completely surprised me. How do you just quit something? Also, how do you just quit something and address it with such boldness? It was so audacious. I was shocked. I was impressed. I was sad. I was glad for her.

I have never forgotten that shocking display of freedom. And so maybe one day I will finally just admit that blogging is something I keep doing maybe because I have done it for so long. But for right now I am still tempted to give it a try.  Perhaps because I have paid someone for something that keeps this website alive until next year… better check the green notebook for that exact information. But also, maybe, I keep blogging just because there is something thrilling about having a say and putting it out there for no other reason than it’s fun.

So there you have it, I conquered the gauntlet of login steps so I could tell you something. Ah, there it is, the point of this entire post.

Yesterday I went thrifting with my favorite person in the world. Riveting I know. Hold on, I’m getting there. I’m rusty and not paid for this blogging thing, remember?

So there Garrett and I were standing in line watching the numbers rise on the register as our golden nuggets of thrifting were rung up. A lady casually walked up behind us and told the clerk we got the senior discount.

We both laughed. She nonchalantly stood there and began chatting with the clerk. I looked at Garrett confused as to what was happening. We haphazardly started a conversation with her. Admittingly, it was a little awkward as we were both unsure as to what was going on but then the clerk hit a button on the register and our number went down, nearly by half.

A light went on.

This total stranger had just given us her senior discount for no apparent reason. Pure kindness and there I was standing completely surprised and without the ability to form coherent sentences.

I did the only thing I knew to do.

I asked if I could hug her.

She said yes and we hugged it out. I mean a real good ole fashion hug. I can still feel her arms holding me tightly as if she was giving me some of her magic.

Then she told me not to let stress bother me and to enjoy my life.

Even today, just thinking about it makes my heart grow three sizes. The boldness. This woman just declaring something and then following through because she wanted to. These women, these strong audacious women keep showing up in my life in all sorts of ways and each and every time I am amazed and inspired.

So in my own story. In the mess and the awkwardness and the fear that sometime chokes me down, I remember these angels.

The lady at Trader Joes who gave me two dozen roses just because. It had been a hell of week and I was desperate for something, someone to remind me that it was all going to be okay and that the world, though not perfect, still had hope.

These magical little slices of heaven that show up out of nowhere and wrap themselves around me and teach me and remind me that we get to try again and again. Try to be more of ourselves, try to love better, try to be kinder, try to grow stronger. All of this to say, today I am reminded to eat the damn cake.